an unnecessary (short) rant about yoshi from the super mario galaxy movie.

the super mario galaxy movie was, without a doubt, a horrible movie. and i'm proud to say i knew it within the first ten minutes.

how did i know? great question. because this thing was clearly written by a few monkeys on typewriters with zero understanding of the world they were writing in, armed only with the most embarrassing, underthought methods for introducing characters imaginable.

yoshi is the prime example. his introduction makes absolutely zero sense. they introduce this dinosaur in the laziest way possible: he just shows up at the beginning of the movie, and somehow nobody bats an eye at a giant reptile casually walking the earth. but you know what else this movie introduces? a literal dinosaur planet. they could've introduced him there and it would've been so much better.

and here's what really would've sold it: yoshi's whole backstory is finding, raising, and protecting baby mario and luigi. in this movie, the boys get turned into babies. it would've been perfect: yoshi gets discovered on the dinosaur planet, protecting baby mario and luigi. but nooo. they just wanted him as a cheap gag character instead.

i hate this movie. it's now one of the only films i've ever given half a star on letterboxd, right next to incredibles 2.